True love, real love, including romantic love, come from above. Analytics, metrics, copious sexual experiences, misguided perceptions of Christian doctrine and even literature fall short. Of course, much of humanity, thinks otherwise...Excellent post, though.
I will say that the romantic love found in literature comes closest to a love created in the supernatural. My fiancée and I are devoted romantics and wholeheartedly embrace what you have described. However, ours is a Christ-centered relationship and it is much, much more uplifting, edifying, passionate and loving than the secular-based ones we experienced in the past.
As Iris Murdoch wrote: Extreme love must bring terror with it. Great job, Liza, but you really owe it to yourself to read Christina Nehring's A Vindication of Love. She points out that prior to about the 20th century or so, romantic love was always understood as a sublime but dangerous force that can elevate human beings to the greatest possible ecstasy on this earth, but, and this is the crucial part, will always lead to unbearable pain-that is, if you really are doing it right. She starts with the very first feminist, Mary Wolstonecroft, and points out that this paragon of modern women's rights completely destroyed herself over love of a man. And algorithms and metrics are beside the point-you'll know when you are really taken over by love, I mean the real thing, not the boring therapeutically-approved modern kind-it will Break Blow and Burn you, in John Donne's words. Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck put it even better- 'The storybooks are bullshit! Love don't make everything alright! It breaks your heart! We are put on this earth to love the wrong people and break our hearts and die!'
I either meet people in real life organically or I go without. Typically this means I go without. Dating apps are cancer.
I do think that the Hollywood style of "true love" can be dangerous. It cannot last. True love is found once that passionate phase recedes and the banality of what happens after "happily ever after" kicks in.
That doesn't mean you can't be romantic. But true love's greatest expression is sitting around together comfortably without needing some great passionate story to play out. Just doing the dishes, working out, reading, chatting. Being in each others' company.
A candle can last for days. A bonfire only lasts a few hours.
thats where you have the power and the agency to do something and you utilize that power and agency in it's time and place - and then nothing comes of it - that's villainy - might is power and agency with a simultaneous time and place - that's what might is - lust is when both of those things are vaccuously wasted - the orthodox church just lied about the definition and translation and meaning of the word fornication.
that's why those people give it so much thought.
honestly, without that kind of evil activity people would probably be several times healthier.
thanks for sharing.
especially that middle part about feeling ecstatically juvenile. that's actually very normal. that's so normal it's kind of the entire fulcrum of violence against women. if women in adulthood do not have appositive benevolent force in that retrospective time and place it becomes just a nightmare for them very often.
Congratulations! The road may be long or circuitous, but the search is worth the effort. The percentages are meaningless. 37% simply means the majority of the time, there are always exceptions, which prove the rules.
Fare well, I had a love of my own once too, so follow your hearts and live the love you are.
My research company years back conducted expensive, advanced and precise development training for executives in supply chain.
In strategy implementation, we drifted towards segmentation, planning statistics and control metrics, process design… process engineering - dry as toast.
I used to break the ice by asking “how many people here married the love of their life”, and usually most of the room raised a hand except for a few younger people, then I’d ask “how many believe in managing supply with control metrics and measures”. A similar number raised hands.
Then I’d say “but sometimes it’s the other way around” and everyone would look confused.
I’d choose a hapless person, telling everyone they had a major announcement, and make them stand up with me in front of the session . I would proceed to describe how they shared with me before the class a spreadsheet for their last 400 dates, with 20 characteristics they examined in a forced rank and at the steering meeting next week they will announce the engagement. All lies naturally, from a man who looks like Santa as a pro wrestler, the knowledge of an AI and the affect of a crazy uncle.
Usually the person would die of embarrassment, and we’d all laugh, because “it’s best to manage with metrics, and find love with your heart.”
The embarrassment worked really well in Tokyo and Shanghai, less so in Sweden and Germany.
True love, real love, including romantic love, come from above. Analytics, metrics, copious sexual experiences, misguided perceptions of Christian doctrine and even literature fall short. Of course, much of humanity, thinks otherwise...Excellent post, though.
I will say that the romantic love found in literature comes closest to a love created in the supernatural. My fiancée and I are devoted romantics and wholeheartedly embrace what you have described. However, ours is a Christ-centered relationship and it is much, much more uplifting, edifying, passionate and loving than the secular-based ones we experienced in the past.
Thanks for sharing your story! I fell in love with my wife at first sight 38 years ago. She’s my number one and there is no number two.
Love this! Congratulations!
As Iris Murdoch wrote: Extreme love must bring terror with it. Great job, Liza, but you really owe it to yourself to read Christina Nehring's A Vindication of Love. She points out that prior to about the 20th century or so, romantic love was always understood as a sublime but dangerous force that can elevate human beings to the greatest possible ecstasy on this earth, but, and this is the crucial part, will always lead to unbearable pain-that is, if you really are doing it right. She starts with the very first feminist, Mary Wolstonecroft, and points out that this paragon of modern women's rights completely destroyed herself over love of a man. And algorithms and metrics are beside the point-you'll know when you are really taken over by love, I mean the real thing, not the boring therapeutically-approved modern kind-it will Break Blow and Burn you, in John Donne's words. Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck put it even better- 'The storybooks are bullshit! Love don't make everything alright! It breaks your heart! We are put on this earth to love the wrong people and break our hearts and die!'
Congratulations on your engagement!!
It can happen – and does. This is from my book The Wild Sonnets: Volume I (1-100). Written for my wife in our 25th year of marriage:
Wild Sonnet #99
Are we not unto each other bound
As ink and paper are? Each act and utterance
You perform are upon me printed,
As are daily mine on you. Dictation,
Diary and duet at once, a composing paired
Where every moment, line and level look
To be inscripted in each other’s book.
----------------
Let me recite then what I see and know:
That we are to each – the other’s hinted half –
Which holds just out of reach. But for the mirror’s
Mention, I do not see the pigment
And parameter my fronted figure paints,
But the illustration of what ill-conceives
The all of yours that’s lettered on the leaves.
© 2018
www.wildsonnets.com
Congratulations, Liza! I’m hoping for a similar story myself—I too grew up on classic old love stories in literature. :)
Congratulations Liza. I'm very happy for you.
I either meet people in real life organically or I go without. Typically this means I go without. Dating apps are cancer.
I do think that the Hollywood style of "true love" can be dangerous. It cannot last. True love is found once that passionate phase recedes and the banality of what happens after "happily ever after" kicks in.
That doesn't mean you can't be romantic. But true love's greatest expression is sitting around together comfortably without needing some great passionate story to play out. Just doing the dishes, working out, reading, chatting. Being in each others' company.
A candle can last for days. A bonfire only lasts a few hours.
Congratulations, good luck, and God bless you both.
Lust is the villainy of might -
thats where you have the power and the agency to do something and you utilize that power and agency in it's time and place - and then nothing comes of it - that's villainy - might is power and agency with a simultaneous time and place - that's what might is - lust is when both of those things are vaccuously wasted - the orthodox church just lied about the definition and translation and meaning of the word fornication.
that's why those people give it so much thought.
honestly, without that kind of evil activity people would probably be several times healthier.
thanks for sharing.
especially that middle part about feeling ecstatically juvenile. that's actually very normal. that's so normal it's kind of the entire fulcrum of violence against women. if women in adulthood do not have appositive benevolent force in that retrospective time and place it becomes just a nightmare for them very often.
thanks.
Congratulations! The road may be long or circuitous, but the search is worth the effort. The percentages are meaningless. 37% simply means the majority of the time, there are always exceptions, which prove the rules.
Fare well, I had a love of my own once too, so follow your hearts and live the love you are.
Congrats, lovely story.
I am reminded.
My research company years back conducted expensive, advanced and precise development training for executives in supply chain.
In strategy implementation, we drifted towards segmentation, planning statistics and control metrics, process design… process engineering - dry as toast.
I used to break the ice by asking “how many people here married the love of their life”, and usually most of the room raised a hand except for a few younger people, then I’d ask “how many believe in managing supply with control metrics and measures”. A similar number raised hands.
Then I’d say “but sometimes it’s the other way around” and everyone would look confused.
I’d choose a hapless person, telling everyone they had a major announcement, and make them stand up with me in front of the session . I would proceed to describe how they shared with me before the class a spreadsheet for their last 400 dates, with 20 characteristics they examined in a forced rank and at the steering meeting next week they will announce the engagement. All lies naturally, from a man who looks like Santa as a pro wrestler, the knowledge of an AI and the affect of a crazy uncle.
Usually the person would die of embarrassment, and we’d all laugh, because “it’s best to manage with metrics, and find love with your heart.”
The embarrassment worked really well in Tokyo and Shanghai, less so in Sweden and Germany.
Really beautiful tribute! Congratulations on your marriage!