“And in a society where everything has to be “explored” or “celebrated,” we’ve forgotten that marriage used to mean a lot to a whole lot of people, and that there is a reason that monogamy requires choosing one person and renouncing all others”. This is the condensing of countless ages of wisdom. Well said.
Agree…EXCEPT…With all the focus on emotional honesty, the claim that “1 in 2 marriages end in divorce” is not true. It’s a cultural cliché that “50% of all marriages” fail, but that 1970s-era headline was a projection, not fact. And a quick check on Google or Snopes.com confirms it:
-The 50% Myth: The statistic was based on projections from the 1970s/80s, which never materialized.
-Declining Rates: Divorce rates have steadily fallen since peaking around 1980.
So, Some basic professional fact-checking will bolster your already strong arguments. But keep holding flaky pseudo-journalists accountable! Thank you for that.
As someone coming close to their 40th wedding anniversary, I can say with some confidence that the secret to a good marriage is to look after each other. It is really as simple as that. How you feel about each other will differ from time to time, but if you remain consistent in simply looking after each other, regardless of your feelings of the moment, your feelings will follow your actions reliably and consistently.
The problem with most advice about marriage these days, and that seems to include the article you are describing, is that it thinks a good marriage means living in a state of perpetual courtship. Courtship is great fun, of course, full of happy hormones and heightened emotions. But it is inherently unsustainable. It is too expensive of resources, and your body will inevitably return to its normal physical and emotional state, no matter what you do.
What you want is that the person who makes your blood pressure rise during the courtship phase should become the person who makes your blood pressure drop throughout the length of your marriage. Perpetual excitement is not sustainable. Perpetual contentment is, and all you need to do to maintain it, and to restore it if it falters, is to look after each other.
Society has forgotten that marriage is covenantal. The word covenant is profoundly significant. There will always be a more attractive male/female, someone who shares similar interests; however, making a life long commitment has a significant blessing. Marriage is ebb and flows, but your partner should be your everything...it is completely bonkers to me to confess a flirtation with another partner and your partner is fine with it. There is something wrong there...definitely there is a lack of commitment...
“And in a society where everything has to be “explored” or “celebrated,” we’ve forgotten that marriage used to mean a lot to a whole lot of people, and that there is a reason that monogamy requires choosing one person and renouncing all others”. This is the condensing of countless ages of wisdom. Well said.
Agreed. Also, I am totally sick of the word “celebrate.”
Agree…EXCEPT…With all the focus on emotional honesty, the claim that “1 in 2 marriages end in divorce” is not true. It’s a cultural cliché that “50% of all marriages” fail, but that 1970s-era headline was a projection, not fact. And a quick check on Google or Snopes.com confirms it:
-The 50% Myth: The statistic was based on projections from the 1970s/80s, which never materialized.
-Declining Rates: Divorce rates have steadily fallen since peaking around 1980.
So, Some basic professional fact-checking will bolster your already strong arguments. But keep holding flaky pseudo-journalists accountable! Thank you for that.
As someone coming close to their 40th wedding anniversary, I can say with some confidence that the secret to a good marriage is to look after each other. It is really as simple as that. How you feel about each other will differ from time to time, but if you remain consistent in simply looking after each other, regardless of your feelings of the moment, your feelings will follow your actions reliably and consistently.
The problem with most advice about marriage these days, and that seems to include the article you are describing, is that it thinks a good marriage means living in a state of perpetual courtship. Courtship is great fun, of course, full of happy hormones and heightened emotions. But it is inherently unsustainable. It is too expensive of resources, and your body will inevitably return to its normal physical and emotional state, no matter what you do.
What you want is that the person who makes your blood pressure rise during the courtship phase should become the person who makes your blood pressure drop throughout the length of your marriage. Perpetual excitement is not sustainable. Perpetual contentment is, and all you need to do to maintain it, and to restore it if it falters, is to look after each other.
Society has forgotten that marriage is covenantal. The word covenant is profoundly significant. There will always be a more attractive male/female, someone who shares similar interests; however, making a life long commitment has a significant blessing. Marriage is ebb and flows, but your partner should be your everything...it is completely bonkers to me to confess a flirtation with another partner and your partner is fine with it. There is something wrong there...definitely there is a lack of commitment...